Forgiveness in the Age of Anger

By Andre Eksteen

We live in an age of anger. You see it everywhere: people who are easily offended, quick to retaliate, and hardly ever willing to forgive. But Jesus’ words remain unchanged: if you do not forgive, your Father will not forgive you either.

Forgiveness is not a side issue for the believer. It is the touchstone of our faith. And it is not about the person who hurt you – it is about you. Unforgiveness is a prison in which you lock yourself, while the one who wronged you simply carries on with their life.

Think of this example. A man had a brother who lived in Iran – a simple Christian who only wanted to follow Jesus. He did not hide his faith. He opened his Bible, shared with others, even though he knew it could cost him his life. One day he was attacked, arrested, beaten, and eventually killed, simply because he confessed Christ.

His family was shattered. His brother, far away from Iran, burned with hatred in his heart. He swore that he would never forgive the people who had treated his loved one so cruelly. He woke up every day with the same thought: “They took my brother.” He tossed and turned at night, often lying awake with anger eating into his heart like acid. He hurt his own family as well, because his bitterness spilled over onto everyone. No one could have peace with him, because he himself had no peace. For years he carried the hatred like a burden that grew heavier and heavier, until it ruled his entire life. And the irony? The people who committed the crime simply went on with their lives as if nothing had happened. His hatred imprisoned him, not them. He grew old in bitterness, and his life ended without light, without hope, without peace.

But there is another path. Someone else whose loved one also died in Iran for his faith had the same reason to be angry, the same excuse to hold a grudge. But he chose differently. He wept before God and said: “I choose to forgive. I choose to pray for them.” He laid his pain at the cross. And slowly but surely, a peace came into his heart that is not of this world. He was set free from the chains of resentment.

He never knew it, but years later one of the men responsible for his loved one’s death himself came to repentance. That man was converted, bowed his knee before Christ, and began to preach the gospel in the same country where he had once been a persecutor. That is the power of forgiveness – it does not only change your own life, it can even change your enemy’s eternity.

Then look at Joseph in the Bible. His own brothers betrayed him. They beat him, threw him into a pit, and sold him like livestock. He was led away as a slave, thrown into prison, and forgotten for years. If anyone had a reason to live full of hatred and bitterness, it was Joseph. But when the day came that he was second-in-command over Egypt and his brothers knelt before him, he did not use his chance to get revenge. He said: you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20). He wept over his brothers, he forgave them, and he saved their lives. Forgiveness did not only free his heart – it made the survival of an entire nation possible.

The Bible says: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). You can forgive, even when your heart says you cannot. You can let go, even when you think you have the right to hold on. God’s grace gives you the ability to do what seems naturally impossible to you. Paul said: My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). That means you can forgive the unforgivable – not in your own strength, but in His.

Forgiveness does not mean you make the other person your best friend. It does not mean you approve of their actions or pretend nothing happened. The world says that if you forgive, you must suddenly be “buddy-buddy” – but the Bible says no. Even Jesus forgave the Pharisees, but He still called their deeds sin to their faces. Forgiveness means you release the debt. You give up your right to strike back. Romans 12:19 says: Do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord. Forgiveness, therefore, is not an acquittal of guilt – it is the handing over of the case to God’s righteous judgement.

Just look at Jesus. Judas betrayed Him, Peter denied Him, the other disciples abandoned Him. He was mocked, beaten, and crucified. And what did He say? Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). If He could say that while hanging bloodied on the cross, we have no excuse.

The problem with anger is not that it flares up, but that we refuse to let it go. The Bible says: Be angry, and sin not (Ephesians 4:26). Righteous anger can drive you to stand against injustice. But when you nurture anger, it turns into poison. And poison does not destroy your enemy – it consumes you.

Forgiveness is a choice. Too many people say: “I want to forgive, I am still working on it.” No. You choose to forgive, just as you choose to follow Christ. It is an act of obedience. And the moment you do, a freedom comes that no person can give you.

But take note: if you refuse to forgive, you do not only lock yourself into your own prison – you also close heaven to yourself. Jesus says it Himself: if you do not forgive, your Father will not forgive you. This is not only about peace here on earth. It is about your salvation. You cannot go to heaven with a heart full of unforgiveness.

Forgiveness clears your mind. It rips the devil’s weapon out of his hand. It opens your prayers. It brings rest and joy back into your home. You may remember the event, but the sting is gone. Your pain becomes your testimony.

Unforgiveness is a clenched fist. Your whole body is tense. But the moment you open your hand and let go, the tension breaks. That is forgiveness.

We live in a time where everyone is angry, everyone feels they have the right to remain angry. But the child of God is called to be different. Forgiveness is not weakness. It is true strength. It is obedience. And it is freedom.

You do not have to start tomorrow. Not someday. Today. Forgive. Because forgiveness is the key that breaks your own chains – and the key that opens the door to heaven for you.

And remember the parable of the ten virgins. Five had oil in their lamps, five had empty lamps. When the Bridegroom came unexpectedly, the five without oil tried to run and fix it – but it was too late. The door was shut, and they were left outside. Unforgiveness is that empty lamp. It is the oil you do not have. If you cannot forgive, you have no oil. You may think you will fix it when Jesus comes to fetch you – but then it is too late. Your lamp is empty, and He will go without you.